Kick the Cabbage

"Crummock" aka Kick the Cabbage

Players

10 or more.

Equipment

A supply of hats, umbrellas and children’s spades, a tennis ball or cabbage.

Rules

The list of requirements suggests immediately that Crummock is no ordinary game. Played in a garden or large room, it is a cross between hockey, lacrosse, hurling and The Clothes Show.

The basic premise is conventional enough. There are two teams, a goal at each end of the pitch, and the objective is to put the ball into the opposing goal. The implement for hitting the ball, however, is decidedly unorthodox, and is basically anything that comes to hand. Devices have included umbrellas, children’s spades and cricket stumps. Garden spades should be avoided for safety reasons. Although the game is usually played with a ball, the more avant-garde may prefer to use a cabbage or firm, rounded lettuce.

There is one more rule — players must wear a hat at all times. If you lose your headgear at any stage of the match, you are not allowed to continue, until you have, somehow, managed to acquire a replacement. Consequently, some players spend the whole game knocking off opponent’s hats, rather than pursuing the ball.