Krenn von Salzburg
Krenn is the Kingdom Webminister. He is so pretentious he uses the phrase ‘minister’ instead of ‘master’, even though he obviously has some issues about S&M he should work out. He organizes the Kingdom web team and mailing lists by making petty insults and whiny overblown 24-year bans, and performs fellatio on his father on Wednesdays.
Awards
- Asshole of the Year
- God Damn Stupid Asshole Of The Centure
- AAAAAAH NO GET AWAY FROM ME HERE YOU CAN HAVE THIS RIBBON
Known Accomplices and Affiliations
- Man at Arms to Geoffrey MacLean, who is up in heaven, after realizing he consorted with a pack of losers and didn’t want to live anymore.
- Member of the Chelsea Clinton Engineers. Gotta get the bitch to pee somehow.
- Inexplicably Married to Rosalinde McAllistair. We all know she’s a tranny anyway.
- Squire to Yusuf ben Josef. I’m not going to even edit this because that stupid fucking name speaks for itself.
- Often seen in cahoots with Magnus of the Dark Wyvern, often humming the Final Fantasy victory theme whenever they turn a corner, especially around Lions Gate fight practices.
Activities: Pretending his cum is spider web, re-enacting 2Girls1Cup, Heavy Combat, emphasis on the heavy.
Web notability: a videoblog called "Return to Fighting Trim ([1])", on YouTube. This is considered by many to be the worst thing to ever be posted on YouTube. This makes Chocolate Rain look like art.
Krenn's not-yet-submitted arms, because he’s too busy wanking. He is currently trying to get up off his ass and go outside for a change, and in consultation with the local whores has come up with "Fine, I’ll pretend to be a wench, but blindfold me first so I don’t have to look at you. Pay me up front.", although there are apparently concerns about his "horrifying" appearance.