The True Story of the Sesame Seeds

(From the Barony of Lions Gate's 25th Anniversary memorial book, as told by Bjorn of Havok, June AS XXXVI. Added to the An Tir Wiki with the permission of the author.)

The True Story of the Sesame Seeds
by Bjorn of Havok

At one of my first trips to the August Purgatorio (Notes) in the back of San Francisco, I was eating some kind of confection with sesame seeds while wearing my bear skin cloak -- Poopsie (but that's another story) (Notes). As a result I became sprinkled with the crumbs.

Shortly after, I was standing around at court watching a presentation by either An Tir or Lions Gate notables. (I have a horrible feeling it was the Madrona (sic) Baron.) Feeling idle I picked out a seed from the fur, bit it and noticed a satisfactory crunch. As has been said of idle hands, an evil thought struck me. I began to scratch and pick through the fur noisily crunching the seeds. Boverk of Momchilivich (sic) -- then my apprentice, having also watched the nature programs of monkeys picking out fleas, began to ably assist. At this point the "Exalted Personages" viewing the presentation began to either giggle or turn green. The presenters had their backs to us so they could not quite see why this solemn occasion was not having the desired effect.

The moral of this tale is that to be a proper barbarian it is not sufficient (or necessary) to be obnoxious. One must feel deep in their soul the one-ness with granola. (For those who do not remember -- An Tir was once known as the granola principality -- them that aren't fruits and nuts is flakes.)

Notes

• Purgatorio: West Kingdom Coronation event. This story dates from the days when An Tir was still a principality of the West.
• Poopsie: a tanned bearskin hide, with fur