Cloved Fruit

Fruit (generally citrus, often a lemon or orange, though pears, apples, and kumquats have been known to make appearances, as well) that has had a whole lot of whole cloves stuck into it. Often referred to as a Cloven Fruit.

This is a game of offers. You pass it to one whose favour you hope to win, and they remove a clove. I’ve heard that in most places, the game’s really simple: you take a clove out with your teeth if you want to be kissed, and then pass it on. But around here, it’s a lot more complicated, and what, specifically, is done with the clove indicates the invitation given. Removing one with the fingers and tossing it away is a flat rejection. It’s considered to be kind of rude, and I’ve only seen someone do that once, when it wasn’t a mutual understanding. With the fingers, but keeping it: a kiss of the hand. With the fingers, but then popping it in your mouth: a kiss on the cheek. With the lips, but spitting it out: an invitation for a chaste kiss. With the lips, but keeping it in the mouth: an invitation for the other person to retrieve it, shown by the clove being retained on the tongue. And if they swallow it, well... that’s a clear invitation for far more than a kiss.

Then you pass the fruit on to someone else.

You hand it to someone whose answer you know, if you just want to get rid of it. For instance, you could pass it to your best friend, who will probably just take one and toss it out, which wouldn't be insulting, since you both would know where you stand with each other to begin with. It really gets interesting when you end up with a fruit that only has one clove left. That fruit is an invitation from the giver for... well, tent time. If the receiver takes the fruit at all, it’s a ‘yes’.

The important thing to remember about the cloved fruit is that it is a game. There is no obligation on anyone's part to do anything at all. You need not even take the fruit, though that is considered bad form, as it is very easy to simply ask for a kiss on the hand. As with any game played amongst adults, discretion is the better part of valour; wait for the person accepting the fruit to make a clear indication of what it is they desire. Not everyone will be familiar with all the rules, and they may be surprised, if they come from another kingdom, or have only been introduced to the simple version of the game.

Cloved Lemon Kissing Game

A variation of the game called the Cloved Lemon Kissing Game was popularized by SCA members and participants who were also Discordians. The Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild was founded by two later SCA members, and many of the ECG members later joined the SCA.

• (This section appears in at least three books: Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht, Et Cetera Discordia, and Principia Harmonia. It was released into the public domain. Note that these books use "e" as a genderless substitute for "he" or "she".)

This holy ritual was discovered by members of the Society for Creative Anachronism, which stubbornly insists it is not a division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild. (The SCA was founded on the anniversary of the Bavarian Illuminati in 1966 in California, just one year after Principia Discordia was first published in California, which sounds mighty suspicious to us). The ritual has five steps, naturally.

1. Someone, the Lemon Clover, inserts cloves into a fresh lemon (or some other fruit, in which case this person is the Some Other Fruit Clover. But pucker-inducing lemons generally work best). Making a pattern with the cloves is optional. Possible patterns include a heart, smiley face, the number five, the Sacred Chao, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It’s generally best to prepare the lemon shortly before the game begins, although the cloved lemon can be refrigerated for a short while.

2. One person, the Giver, hands the cloved lemon to someone e would like to kiss, called the Receiver. Usually this is done at a party or other get-together, except funerals. The game generally happens while other things are going on, sometimes continuing through a whole party.

3. The Receiver then takes a clove out with es teeth to freshen es breath. If the Receiver doesn’t like the taste of cloves, e may use es hand. If played in a hot tub, declare a non-breakable container to be the Sacred Used Clove Receptacle. If played anywhere else, a clove may be deposited wherever is appropriate, as swallowing cloves can be pretty nasty.

4. The Receiver indicates the body part the Giver may kiss by offering that body part to the Giver and/or pointing to it. Usual locations are the hand, cheek, lips, open mouth/tongue. Unusual locations are left to the imagination. However, the nature of the kiss should always be mutually agreeable. The Giver should be gracious, even if the kiss is less intimate than e desired.

5. The Receiver now becomes the Giver, and goes to Step 2. This continues until your lemon runs out of cloves (in which case you may either end the game or go to Step 1), or players run out of body parts. (But body parts, unlike cloves, are reusable. And rekissable).

Origin

The cloved lemon kissing game was likely created in the 20th century (possibly in 1974) in the SCA. It bears similarities to practices of the historical period covered by the SCA, which is primarily Europe from the 5th through the 16th century CE.

In a French custom from the time of the Crusades, a knight could impress a lady by giving her a citrus fruit, often a lemon, that was pierced by whole cloves. Both citrus fruit and cloves were extremely expensive, so it made an impressive gift.

According to Alexandre sur le Mer, this practice was an inspiration for Alizaunde de Breguef, who may have made the first cloved lemon for kissing in A. S. VIII. This was in the Canton of the Towers, Barony of Carolingia of the East Kingdom.

The cloved lemon is sometimes referred to as a "cloven lemon," which would literally mean a lemon that is split.

While this phrase seems to be an error, this usage may be a reference to an original source. In William Shakespeare's comedy Love's Labour's Lost, first published in 1598, the following dialog is found in Act V, Scene II (numbers indicate lines in the play):

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
672 The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
673 Gave Hector a gift,--

DUMAIN
674 A gilt nutmeg.

BIRON
675 A lemon.

LONGAVILLE
676 Stuck with cloves.

DUMAIN
677 No, cloven.