Whimsical Order of the Ailing Wit

The Whimsical Order of the Ailing Wit, aka "WOAW"

(A "keeper" posting from the Steps, 1 June XLI/2006)

A WOAW is a member of the Whimsical Order of the Ailing Wit. WOAWs are those who are adjudged by the Grand Puntiff of the WOAW to be incapable of participating in conversation without indulging in puns and other word play, often to the dismay, even the disgust of more serious persons. To be just, WOAWs can be serious - briefly - but they are notorious for the disorder of their conversational style and the way even the most innocent remarks appear to inspire in them odd, off the wall remarks, usually of a humorous nature.

WOAWs are inducted into the Order at the whim of the Grand Puntiff, currently Dame Rowan. When the candidate is cornered, s/he is thwapped with a rubber chicken, and may be subjected to other humorous rites, depending on whether the thwapper, either the Grand Puntiff or a designated chicken-wielder, has indulged his or her wit and ingenuity in preplanning the encounter. It is traditional for inductees, when they realize that they are about to be thwapped, to protest, to turn and run, to struggle if they have been seized, to attempt to defend themselves (my lord Roger and Dame Rowan dueled with miniature rubber chickens in a hallway at Twelfth Night), or some other amusing expression of reluctance.

WOAWs are required to wear a warning label with the letters WOAW clearly visible somewhere upon their person at every event, so that persons who do not want to be harassed by pun-ishing wit can avoid them. As a result, most WOAWs wear their warning labels hanging from the back of their belts, giving rise to the common practice of calling the things "tails of WOAW." A WOAW who appears at an event without his or her "tail of WOAW" is honor bound to send the Grand Puntiff a pound of the chocolate of his / her choice; currently the tariff for offenders is paid in Peanut M&Ms.

I'm married to a one - WOAW, that is, not a peanut M&M [Roger of Belden Abbey] - and an appreciative audience of them all. :) Personally I consider puns and word play to be high art in conversation, but I am, alas, not very original or prolific in that art myself, despite having been raised in a family where punning was considered a necessary social skill. Sitting and listening to a sorrow of several WOAWs, as I have been privileged to do, is inevitably gigglicious for the punnophile.

But if you consider puns and word play and general conversational silliness to be tedious rather than amusing, turn and saunter the other way, or if reading a list delete, whenever you see the letters WOAW. :)

Sister Guineth