The True Story of the Dog Meat Warriors

(From the Barony of Lions Gate's 25th Anniversary memorial book, as told by Bjorn of Havok, June AS XXXVI. Added to the An Tir Wiki with the permission of the author.)

The True Story of the Dog Meat Warriors
by Bjork of Havok

It came to pass that our Baron thought we should have a war, and if a thing is to be done it might as well be hopeless, so he challenged what was arguably one of the two best war groups in the West Kingdom (Notes). The stories of Golden Rivers against Rieslingshire (Fresno) had been the stuff of legend in my trips to the August Purgatorio tourneys (Notes). They had Knights up the yingyan, we had... war gamers. Most of us had years of pushing little lead soldiers around Ping-Pong tables. We may have been short on hitting skill, but we knew all about refused flanks, reserves, and shield walls. Plus what did we have to lose? So we practiced staying together, fighting in multiple ranks, and moving in formation. Then we all loaded in a rented bus and headed off to war. On the way down I was telling a favorite story from Sports Illustrated about a couple of Bridge players who went to a big tournament in Las Vegas and survived to levels far beyond their modest skill on the basis of luck, and not doing anything stupid. As the term used in bridge circles for the players that are not expected to survive the first rounds is "Dog Meat" I suggested the parallel. If we stuck together we probably wouldn't win but we would at least scare some Knights.

The true stories of how we won number in the hundreds. The truth is that we had a Knight -- Sir Edward Zifron (Notes), who felt he was close enough to Lions Gate to be a native troop. We had All-Star mercenaries from the West led by Duke Paul (Notes) and Duke William (Notes), and we had troops that moved as obediently steadfastly as any lead soldiers. Dog Meat was no longer a term of derision but a badge to be worn with pride.

PS. The Order of the numbers for the Dog Meat is in theory the order in which we first fought in a tourney. I have the honour to be the first. The next few are a tad sketchy as to the order of who fought at the Monbog New Moon Festival (first official tourney) (Notes) and the Royal tourney (Notes) was not preserved. However amongst the first was the person who got me into the society Ilya, who came to be known by many other names. I was told by Duke Paul at that tourney that no lady had to that time fought in a sanctioned tourney so Boverk of Momchillivich (sic) (Notes) was the first woman fighter.

Lions Gate Dogmeat Numbers

Notes

• West Kingdom: This story takes place in the distant past, when An Tir was a principality of the Kingdom of the West.
• Purgatorio: West Kingdom August Coronation event
• Edward Zifran of Gendy
• Duke Paul of Bellatrix: eight times King of the West, Knight since AS VI (not a typo), Duke since AS VII (also not a typo)
• Duke William of Hoghton: Knight since AS VII, Duke since AS XI.
• The Monboggian Midwinter New Moon Festival was held 18 Jan AS IX/1975
• Royal tourney: The editor believes Bjorn is referring to the [fifth Principality of An Tir Coronet Tournament and Investiture], held 16 Feb IX/1975

It was supposed to be a coronet event, but it didn't get into the newletter in time, so it ended up being a prize tourney, won by Sir William the Lucky, for Maelen of Kyng's Lea. We called it the Royal Tourney because Their Majesties Paul and Carol, King and Queen of the West, attended, along with several other notable peers from the central West Kingdom.

• Bolverk of Momchilovich