Princess and the Ninjas

(A "keeper" posting from the North Road, posted Aug 2006.)

(The bard rises from her seat on a log, and sets aside her drum, to smile and take the cue, as the conversation has reminded her of something funny.)

And herein lies a tale: Have you heard the story of the Princess and the Ninjas? Gather round, good gentles, and I shall draw it forth!

At one event far back in the Mists of time, (and the Principality of the Mists, or perhaps Cynagua), a whole bunch of Ninjas over-ran a site. The Princess and her retinue, including many prominent Dukes and Knights of the West were celebrating some victory.

Well, as much imbibing oft affects, soon she felt a need to confer with her privy council, and was about to leave the pavilion with her entourage, when she spotted three mysterious shapes in the dimness outside.

One was balled up on the ground, not unlike a lump of rock, another was hunched over like unto a bush, and the third stood tall, with arms upraised, as a tree.

(make appropriate gestures, like an interpretive dancer)

Her Highness ducked her head back into the pavilion and confessed in a stage whisper worthy of Burbage himself, she declared to her assembled retinue, "There are Ninjas outside!"

Picture then, various burly men peering out of the tent like the lady with the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot cotehardie and you will create an accurate picture of these fearsome Lords surveying the situation. The "rock", "bush" and "tree" did not move.

(don't forget the gestures!)

Hasty conference later, and one Duke decided to take action, as his bladder could not withstand more of a wait to call for reinforcements. He stepped boldly forth from the pavilion, surveyed the scene like unto a commander surveying a battlefield, and promply relieved himself on the nearest "rock".

Copiously.

Liberally watering the field around, leaving only a Ninja-shaped dryspot under the "rock".

Outrageous giggling must have ensued, with the final punch coming from some observer's theorised conversation from the other two Ninjas as they revered their somewhat pungent "mineral" friend.

(theatrical pause for effect)

"Wow, man! They didn't even *see* you!"

I have it on Excellent authority that this tale is true... and while I do not advise it as a method by which such may be dealt with, it serves to illustrate that this is not a new problem.

(The teller goes back to roasting cheese on the end of her knife over the bardic fire, and sharing it with the spirit of Morgan of Aberystwyth.)

• Briana*